Those people are at it again. You know who I’m talking about. The ecru-colored citizens who turn beet red at facts and statistics, who wondered why they weren’t included in the phrase #BlackLivesMatter and who called it a “terrorist organization.” The taupe Americans who cried butt-hurt boo-hoos when football players did exactly what they suggested and knelt in silent protest during the anthem. The group of nonthinking matte eggshells who once labeled Martin Luther King Jr. and Colin Kaepernick “communists.”
Now they are mad at coffee machines.
No, seriously … they are. In support of an allegedly verified pedophile (because if pedophilia were like Twitter, Roy Moore would have a blue checkmark), Caucasians have mounted a campaign of destroying their own property as a protest. I know it doesn’t make any sense, so I will explain it to you.
Late last week, the Washington Post published a story about Roy Moore’s alleged preference for ninth-graders. The report included four women who have never met one another and yet all tell similar stories about the Alabama Republican running in a special election for a Senate seat.
Woman says Roy Moore initiated sexual encounter when she was 14, he was 32
Alabama resident Leigh Corfman said that in 1979, when Moore was an assistant district attorney, he …
Moore reportedly likes his women like he likes his coffee: fresh, hot and not yet capable of solving binomial equations. The story was immaculately reported with 30 corroborating sources. But you know how the Washington Post can be sometimes—always bringing up
factual old stuff.
Since the story was first reported, a fifth accuser has emerged with a story that mirrors those of the first four, including a yearbook signed by Moore. What 30-year-old does that? Until this story came out, I had legitimately forgotten that was a thing. One of Moore’s former co-workers even came out to say that Moore was known to troll malls and high school football games for teens.
In response to the charges, the technological marvel whose head was somehow replaced with a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float, Fox News’ Sean Hannity, invited Moore to defend himself Friday night. Moore did such a poor job of explaining his alleged preference for women who read Judy Blume novels that Hannity was forced to offer an assist, repeatedly mansplaining Moore’s reported encounter with a 14-year-old by saying, “No other sexual conduct had taken place. No sexual intercourse.” Hannity later added that the allegations by the 16-year-old “involve kissing and only kissing.”
After Hannity allowed an accused child molester to grace his airwaves and equivocate about sexual molestation, people began pressuring advertisers to pull ads from Hannity’s show. Coffee maker-maker (I’ve always wanted to use that in a sentence) Keurig was one of the first companies to remove its advertising from the show, along with Realtor.com, 23andMe and Nature’s Bounty.
Keurig, others pull ads from Fox News’ ‘Hannity’ show over Roy Moore coverage
Keurig, Realtor.com, 23 and Me, Eloquii and Nature’s Bounty all pulled their ads from the…